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Adam PT's avatar

Interestingly, I only just saw a clip of Will Smith talking about rock bottom, and as he says, ‘cliff top,’ - that’s when everything external is working out for you. He makes a point that cliff top doesn’t even matter until you get to learn about and understand YOU. I know it’s rich for people who can largely do whatever they want to say that, but he has a point. When are you going to be happy with you, as you are, no matter the circumstance? That has to come from within.

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

Agree. I’ve had moments where everything looked “successful” on paper but felt completely off inside. It’s wild how chasing the next win never really fills that gap. Learning to like yourself, mess and all, might be the real work. Everything else feels lighter when you start there. Thanks for engaging, Adam. I appreciate you.

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Sasha's avatar

This is so impactful. Thank you so much for this.

“ If you don’t define yourself, the world will do it for you - and the version it writes won’t feel like your own”

We should try to create meaning and life for ourselves, not others

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

It really is the work of a lifetime, choosing to write your own story, even when it feels easier to follow someone else’s script. Meaning feels so much richer when it’s personal and true. Grateful this landed with you, Sasha.

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Marisa Victus's avatar

Agree 💯! The internally-motivated, intrinsic path can be daunting, but the value, purpose, growth, deep satisfaction, and stronger sense of Self that you gain makes it worth it. Thanks for these wonderful insights, Tinashe.

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

The internal path is never the easiest, but it’s where the real rewards live. Nothing compares to the clarity and freedom that come from living in alignment with who you truly are. I’m grateful this resonated with you. Appreciate you being here, Marisa.

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The Powerful You's avatar

"You’re standing at a crossroads in your life. One path is safe and predictable - the one your parents, friends, or society applaud. The other feels uncertain, risky, even a little scary - but it’s yours. It makes your heart race, not because it’s easy, but because it feels deeply right." - I can relate so deeply with what you said here, Tinashe! I feel like most people only live for surface because it gives them stability, but stability is not peace, it’s not real, it’s not necessarily alive. A great article, thank you for sharing! 💛

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

Love what you said; “stability is not peace” is such a powerful truth. So many settle for comfort over authenticity. Grateful this spoke to you. Here’s to choosing aliveness over approval, every single time. 💛

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The Powerful You's avatar

Absolutely! But "stability" is often performative - a curated life that feels hollow inside. I loved your words on this, Tinashe!

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Stefano Miele's avatar

Ultimately comes down to intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation.

This is a concept I learned about around a year ago and it has stuck with me ever since. Most people get to a point where they might have maxed out on their extrinsic motivation (i.e., fame, money) and then they end up feeling lost because they were never chasing something intrinsic.

I think it takes a lot of courage to chase the intrinsic and hope it leads to the extrinsic. Because, of course, we all need money to survive (maybe fame isn't so important for most people). But that's the magic formula I feel. Do what you love (intrinsic), give it your all, and hope it will eventually lead to the extrinsic (money being the focus). I think if done correctly and consistently, it's very possible (at least this is what I'm trying to do myself!).

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

I completely relate; I’ve felt that same shift, too. Chasing external rewards can feel exciting at first, but it rarely lasts. It’s the intrinsic stuff, curiosity, purpose, joy, that keeps us going. Like you said, if we lead with what we love and stay consistent, the external tends to follow. That balance is hard, but it’s where the magic happens. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, my friend.

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Stefano Miele's avatar

No problem Tinashe! Always great to have a conversation with you on here and learn from you my friend! When did you stop chasing external stuff? Was there a moment you realised it just wasn’t serving a purpose anymore?

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Emma Barnafo's avatar

Excellent read, Tinashe. I have found that, being authentic - though not always popular, is a far easier choice for existence. The alternative is a bit too floaty 😜.

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

Haha, yes, “floaty” nails it! 😄 Being authentic might not always be the easy crowd-pleaser, but it’s so much easier on the soul. Way less exhausting than keeping up a mask! Thank you for engaging Emma.

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Emma Barnafo's avatar

My sincere pleasure, dear friend.

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Emma Barnafo's avatar

😂😂😂

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Raquel M. Jones's avatar

“I decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadow. If I fail, if I succeed, at least I live as I believe.”~Whitney Houston. I have to do what feels right for me, no matter what anyone else thinks. Excellent read Tinashe!

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

Such a powerful quote and such a powerful mindset! 🙌 Living by your light, even when it’s hard, is the real win. Thank you for sharing that and for the kind words, Raquel.

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Raquel M. Jones's avatar

My pleasure Tinashe!

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Jeanine Kitchel's avatar

"Embrace discomfort." It sounds odd, but it is a personality builder for sure, Tinashe. Great post.

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

Discomfort has a way of shaping who we are in the best ways. Appreciate your thoughtful words and support , Jeanine.

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Bri's avatar

Yes to all the things. Door #1 will rob you of your joy. It’s also super expensive because you spend all your time (and quite a bit of money) trying to force moments of happiness. It’s just not worth it. Once you’ve spent your time on something, it’s gone forever. We are more sacred than a social media post.

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

Bri, yes! I’ve been down that Door #1 path, trying to “get it right,” spending time, energy chasing moments that never truly satisfy. You nailed it: we are more sacred than a post or a performance. That reminder? Exactly what I needed today. Thank you for thoughts.

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Bri's avatar

You’re awesome. Thanks for being here for all of us.

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Daniel Catena's avatar

Well-deserved milestone, Tinashe! Another inspirational post. It's important to ask ourselves why we make our choices and who we're trying to please.

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

Pausing to ask why we choose what we do is powerful. It’s how we begin living for ourselves, not just for others. Grateful to have you here and your support Daniel.

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Daniel Catena's avatar

Thank you, too, Tinashe!

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Bansi Pattni's avatar

Thank you for this lovely reminder Tinashe. It’s so sad that people actually get stuck in their external lives seeking validation until the day they die. It’s important to know what’s in your heart and following that path.

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

Chasing what looks good instead of what actually feels right. It’s so easy to get stuck there without even realizing it. Grateful we get the chance to pause, reflect, and choose differently. Thanks so much for reading and connecting with this, Bansi.

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Deborah Healey's avatar

Congratulations on reaching 1,000 readers! Well done.

Your words have provided valuable support for internal growth, which truly requires deep consideration. It's easy to make excuses, but the real challenge lies in having the time and confidence to start. My external commitments keep me busy, but I always make time to follow and support others in their internal journeys. This connection allows me to feel part of this wonderful community. Thank you for the inspiration. I will reflect more on how I can contribute and consider joining all of you. Xx Debbie 🤞😁

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

Thank you, Debbie!

I really relate to what you shared, balancing external commitments while craving deeper connection isn’t easy. Thanks for making time to engage here. This community grows stronger with voices like yours.

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Deborah Healey's avatar

Thank you.. I do enjoy the support shown and your written words. Stoic philosophy needs to be shown. X

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Patrick Muindi's avatar

Piercing truths, my friend; very insightful suggestions. Thank you for these.

There are all sorts of things outside, but they will never mean anything if they are not what we truly want, and we will never know (what we want) if we don't ask these questions.

Congratulations on the 1K readers! Very happy to be one of them. To growth (that's aligned, like you explain here) and even wider readership.

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

You said it perfectly, there’s so much noise out there, but none of it really matters if it isn’t aligned with what truly speaks to us. I’m so grateful to have you here, Patrick.

Here’s to more meaningful growth, clarity, and creating from a place of purpose. Your support genuinely means a lot to me. Let see how the journey progresses.

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