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Diana van Eyk's avatar

I love the gentleness of these tips. Sounds like a lot of conflict can be avoided, and movement in a positive direction can be achieved with them.

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

Absolutely, it's amazing how much smoother things go when we lead with curiosity instead of control. Gentle doesn’t mean weak; it often means smarter. Glad the tips resonated, and thank you for your comment, Diana :-)

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Sharon's avatar

Brilliant strategies! No one wants to feel forced into doing anything. These phrases make people feel seen and included. Great job on your parenting and business strategies. Thanks for sharing!

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

You’re so right, people respond so much better when they feel respected, not cornered. Whether it’s parenting or leading a project, it’s all about creating buy-in, not pressure. I appreciate the kind words, and glad the strategies landed with you. Thank you for engaging :-).

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Stefano Miele's avatar

These are great Tinashe, given me some ideas how I can use them when pitching clients. I like the just out of curiosity one, used this a few times and it works quite well. Thanks for sharing, gonna note these down!

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

I get that, in the IT space, especially when you're juggling users, stakeholders, or even cross-functional teams, “just out of curiosity…” is such a useful line. It opens the door without triggering defensiveness. I’ve found it works wonders when you're trying to figure out why someone keeps pushing back on a solution or delaying sign-off. Glad it resonated, thank you for engaging Stefano.

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Jeanine Kitchel's avatar

These are great Tinashe! I like #4 a lot. (I tend to 'use it' on Paul, haha). Somehow I figured out that's the best way to move some things forward! But they are ALL praiseworthy! And let's face it, getting along w. family and those we work with makes life so much easier. Thanks!!

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

Haha, has Paul caught on yet, or is he still unknowingly cooperating with grace? 😄 Sounds like you’ve cracked the code. It’s amazing how “When would be a good time…” lowers resistance and builds momentum. Here’s to more ease at home and work, when possible, thanks again for engaging Jeanine :-)

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Emma Barnafo's avatar

Isn't it amazing?... 'The power of words'.

Those who know me, tend to refer to me as a wordsmith. I guess it's a superpower, haha 😄.

Seriously though, knowing how to properly frame a conversation/communication has the capacity to make or break the peace.

One of my go to 'openers' is "When would be a good time...?" I think it makes the person you are requesting something from feel respected and more open to helping/collaborating with you.

What a beautiful article, Tinashe!👌🏾✨️

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

Yes, “wordsmith” absolutely sounds like a superpower (and a well-earned one at that). It’s amazing how something as simple as “When would be a good time…” can shift the whole energy. I’ve used it with overwhelmed teammates; instead of pushing for a status update, asking “When would be a good time to touch base on this?” usually gets a better result and preserves the relationship. Respect does invite collaboration. Appreciate your thoughtful words and engagement, Emma :-)

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Emma Barnafo's avatar

Haha, yes... I totally agree. My sincere pleasure, dear friend.

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Daniel Catena's avatar

This is a useful list Tinashe! It's easy to project the wrong message but these "scripts" are excellent. Have you used them all? The "What happens next" is an excellent ice-breaker for the end of a conversation and I see myself using it at work.

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

Thank you. And yes, I’ve tested all of them in some way; with colleagues, clients, even at home with my daughter 😅. “What happens next?” is a favorite of mine too, it’s gentle but keeps things moving. Let me know how it works out for you at work. Thank you for engaging Daniel.

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Daniel Catena's avatar

I’d guess your daughter would be the hardest audience! I’m glad they’ve all been battle tested! Can’t wait to try them. Thanks Tinashe!

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Bri's avatar

I liked them all. I think number 7 will be the next one I’ll try.

At the end of the day, there’s a difference between perception and intention. How something is perceived is more impactful on a conversation than how it was intended. I think these phrases shift the attention to perception. Which is powerful.

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

Thank you for the feedback Bri :-)

Intention matters, but perception drives the outcome. That’s what makes these phrases so powerful they help close the gap between what we mean and how it lands. Excited to hear how #7 works for you. It’s subtle, but seriously effective.

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Joanna George's avatar

Really helpful piece Tinashe — bookmarking for future use!

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

I am glad it resonates. Thank you for engaging Joanna.

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Patrick Muindi's avatar

Loved all of them, my friend. I like how they focus on the other person. The message is clear: to get what you want, others must first get what they want. The persuasion is thus what's in it for them. The benefits may be there, but it's your job to make another see them clearly enough to want to take action. Thank you for this!

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Tinashe D. Ndhlovu's avatar

Real persuasion isn’t about pushing harder; it’s about shifting perspective. When we frame things around what matters to them, doors open. It’s empathy in action. I am glad it resonates, and thank you for engaging my friend.

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