I worry so much about the loneliness that seems to be plaguing the world right now. But I’m super grateful for this space and people like you who actively encourage community and engage others. We’ve all got to do our part. 🤍
I think, as I get older this becomes more "real", like you say we all have to do our part. I have added "mates" from my local grocery stores. Thank you for commenting Caroline :-).
Sometimes we don't know we're lonely. We might think we're just sad or tired. Loneliness can sneak up on us slowly. While preparing this article, I found an interesting stat, as many as 60% of people will say they feel lonely much of the time, it can be an epidemic. Thanks for engaging Bansi, I appreciate you :-).
The quality of our relationship is not determined by the amount of hours we spend or the number of people around us but the quality of the conversation. How deep do you know someone.
Great advice, Tinashe. Thank you for this insightful reminder. I agree wholeheartedly.
While it might sound trivial to greet acquaintances with a warm hello when you see them as you go about your day, those quick but sincere convos do add up over time, and I’ve made many friends this way. And I used to be a pretty shy person. Now I greet others often when I go to the gym, to the UPS Store, to the Library, wherever I go…I just ask them how their day is going, make small talk, make an effort to “see” people as people, even if it’s just fleeting. And like most everything, there’s a compound effect. It’s like going to Cheers where everyone knows your name, wherever you regularly go. And the kindness goes both ways. It’s a great feeling when you see people and their face lights up when they see you and say hello.
I only wish I could “meet” all the friendly writers and readers I’ve been lucky enough to encounter here on Substack. Substack’s been the best “coffee shop/reading nook” that I’ve ever found, after many years of writing & creating without a community to call home.
Marisa, I look forward to your insights on the comments. There is not much more for me to add here except thank you for engaging and appreciate your solid summary :-).
I very much agree! I also believe the key to deepening connections is through vulnerability and you can even do that with strangers. I actually just wrote about that!
Agreed Mikaela, vulnerability has an important role in "real connections". I will have a read of your article. @harun wrote a great piece on vulnerability as well. Thank you for engaging and glad to have you here :-).
This is indeed important topic and a very practical response to it. I like how you put the power within the hands of the person experiencing loneliness. I believe our interactions with people on a day-to-day basis is indeed significant. Not only does it have the power to have a significant impact on us when we intentionally make connections with people who may be strangers, but our smile and friendly engagement may be just what they need as well. Thanks Tinashe🙏
Agreed Wayne - it is two-way. You could lift the other person as well. This happened to me at the local grocery store a few years back. Thank you for highlighting this and glad to have you here :-).
Thank you for some great insight, Tinashe. It is important for us to engage with others, even when it feels uncomfortable. I will be sure to take your advice as I go into the week.
Thank you for this exploration, Tinashe. This is a subject that should interest all of us, especially given the health effects of loneliness.
I remember, many years ago while growing up in the village, company was everywhere. But things have changed, and urban life is simply so different.
As we age, I think loneliness is the outcome of quality issues. Connections that make a real difference become increasingly scarce. We should get better at seeking these. Even better, we should become them so that others won't feel lonely in our presence.
While preparing this article, some research shows that people who are lonely in "late life" have a more rapid brain decline. As we get older, we must develop these for our health.
Thank you for sharing your perspective Patrick. Your idea to look for and be a good friend is smart. This can help everyone feel less lonely. I am glad to have you here bro :-).
I’ve never been less lonely than when I moved to Barcelona, where I didn’t know anyone. The daily interactions, walking on the streets, starting the metro. There’s a community here that makes you feel like you’re a part of humanity. Then again, I never feel more lonely than when I’m spending time with someone who is unable or unwilling to have a real conversation.
Loneliness is a serious threat to those who haven't met themselves when everyone runs away. It injurs those whom they surround themselves with like you said. Loneliness isn't taught anywhere yet it's constant part of our lives. It can drive us to depression or awaken the giant within us.
Great advice, Tinashe. Although social media isn't the same as in-person connection, what I love about Substack -- and people like yourself -- is the community I've found here. Everyone has been so supportive!
I was just thinking about this today, how when I lived in LA I would constantly be reaching out to friends, checking in, trying to make plans, and I would constantly feel lonely. Now that I live in Barcelona, I have whittled down my friend group to a few essential friends who are easy to make plans with, and I have my long-term friends in the US I keep up with and I no longer feel lonely. I think that cutting out the non-essential friends has made me realize what true friendship is, and my loneliness has decreased as I value the golden friends verses the superficial friends.
I worry so much about the loneliness that seems to be plaguing the world right now. But I’m super grateful for this space and people like you who actively encourage community and engage others. We’ve all got to do our part. 🤍
I think, as I get older this becomes more "real", like you say we all have to do our part. I have added "mates" from my local grocery stores. Thank you for commenting Caroline :-).
Thanks for sharing this Tinashe! Loneliness is a serious issue, if not addressed then we are predicted to head towards an epidemic.
Sometimes we don't know we're lonely. We might think we're just sad or tired. Loneliness can sneak up on us slowly. While preparing this article, I found an interesting stat, as many as 60% of people will say they feel lonely much of the time, it can be an epidemic. Thanks for engaging Bansi, I appreciate you :-).
You’re welcome Tinashe. I am not surprised at that statistic. It is indeed scary.
Totally agreed-we need to take this matter seriously.
Agreed Dr Faith, it is a serious issue if not addressed.
Loneliness is one of the biggest predictors of how long a person will live and the quality of their life. We would all do well to heed to your advice.
Thanks for this, Tinashe.
Some studies have highlighted that loneliness is as dangerous to our health as smoking half a pack of cigarettes a day.
Thank you for highlighting this fact, Harun :-).
Yes, I have also come across this information and was shocked at how harmful loneliness can be.
Keep up the great work.
The quality of our relationship is not determined by the amount of hours we spend or the number of people around us but the quality of the conversation. How deep do you know someone.
Great insights Tinashe.
Agreed MacDaniel - it is the quality of the conversation. Thank you for engaging and being here bro :-).
The writing is good.
Thank you :-)
Yes. I agree. Sometimes we can feel very lonely in a crowded room.
It happens so often - but being aware is the first step. Thank you for commenting Ayesha and sharing.
Great advice, Tinashe. Thank you for this insightful reminder. I agree wholeheartedly.
While it might sound trivial to greet acquaintances with a warm hello when you see them as you go about your day, those quick but sincere convos do add up over time, and I’ve made many friends this way. And I used to be a pretty shy person. Now I greet others often when I go to the gym, to the UPS Store, to the Library, wherever I go…I just ask them how their day is going, make small talk, make an effort to “see” people as people, even if it’s just fleeting. And like most everything, there’s a compound effect. It’s like going to Cheers where everyone knows your name, wherever you regularly go. And the kindness goes both ways. It’s a great feeling when you see people and their face lights up when they see you and say hello.
I only wish I could “meet” all the friendly writers and readers I’ve been lucky enough to encounter here on Substack. Substack’s been the best “coffee shop/reading nook” that I’ve ever found, after many years of writing & creating without a community to call home.
Marisa, I look forward to your insights on the comments. There is not much more for me to add here except thank you for engaging and appreciate your solid summary :-).
This was great input, I gleaned a lot from it, thanks, Marisa!
I very much agree! I also believe the key to deepening connections is through vulnerability and you can even do that with strangers. I actually just wrote about that!
Agreed Mikaela, vulnerability has an important role in "real connections". I will have a read of your article. @harun wrote a great piece on vulnerability as well. Thank you for engaging and glad to have you here :-).
This is indeed important topic and a very practical response to it. I like how you put the power within the hands of the person experiencing loneliness. I believe our interactions with people on a day-to-day basis is indeed significant. Not only does it have the power to have a significant impact on us when we intentionally make connections with people who may be strangers, but our smile and friendly engagement may be just what they need as well. Thanks Tinashe🙏
Agreed Wayne - it is two-way. You could lift the other person as well. This happened to me at the local grocery store a few years back. Thank you for highlighting this and glad to have you here :-).
🙏❤️🙏
Thank you for some great insight, Tinashe. It is important for us to engage with others, even when it feels uncomfortable. I will be sure to take your advice as I go into the week.
I am glad it resonates and glad to have you here :-).
Thank you for this exploration, Tinashe. This is a subject that should interest all of us, especially given the health effects of loneliness.
I remember, many years ago while growing up in the village, company was everywhere. But things have changed, and urban life is simply so different.
As we age, I think loneliness is the outcome of quality issues. Connections that make a real difference become increasingly scarce. We should get better at seeking these. Even better, we should become them so that others won't feel lonely in our presence.
Thanks for this.
While preparing this article, some research shows that people who are lonely in "late life" have a more rapid brain decline. As we get older, we must develop these for our health.
Thank you for sharing your perspective Patrick. Your idea to look for and be a good friend is smart. This can help everyone feel less lonely. I am glad to have you here bro :-).
Always welcome bro, and thanks too.
I’ve never been less lonely than when I moved to Barcelona, where I didn’t know anyone. The daily interactions, walking on the streets, starting the metro. There’s a community here that makes you feel like you’re a part of humanity. Then again, I never feel more lonely than when I’m spending time with someone who is unable or unwilling to have a real conversation.
I like your example , It is a powerful reminder that true connection is about quality, not just proximity. Thanks for engaging Elizabeth.
Being alone can be VERY powerful. I tried it for 3.5 years: https://open.substack.com/pub/bernhardexplores/p/why-i-socially-isolated-myself-for?r=3oqs68&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Thank you for sharing your view Berhard.
Loneliness is a serious threat to those who haven't met themselves when everyone runs away. It injurs those whom they surround themselves with like you said. Loneliness isn't taught anywhere yet it's constant part of our lives. It can drive us to depression or awaken the giant within us.
Agreed Edwin , thank you for engaging and your support.
Together 💞
Agreed Teyani.
Thank You for This article..it also separates the difference between loneliness and alone..I truly resonate with this
I am glad it resonates Kendra , I appreciate your comment :-)
Great advice, Tinashe. Although social media isn't the same as in-person connection, what I love about Substack -- and people like yourself -- is the community I've found here. Everyone has been so supportive!
I was just thinking about this today, how when I lived in LA I would constantly be reaching out to friends, checking in, trying to make plans, and I would constantly feel lonely. Now that I live in Barcelona, I have whittled down my friend group to a few essential friends who are easy to make plans with, and I have my long-term friends in the US I keep up with and I no longer feel lonely. I think that cutting out the non-essential friends has made me realize what true friendship is, and my loneliness has decreased as I value the golden friends verses the superficial friends.