Perfection? Here's Why 'Done' Beats 'Perfect'...#49

The Perfection Trap

"I have a list of things I need to do before I can go out for a drink with friends. I need to get through the list first."

"Once I have enough time to go to the gym 5 times a week, I will get a membership."

"I will ask my partner to marry me once I have saved enough money to put down a deposit on a house."

"I am not a great employee because I have 3 out of 10 tasks outstanding. Once I do all 10, I will be satisfied."

"I want to start a blog, but I can't post anything until my writing is perfect and I have an ideal website set up."

Sound familiar? This comes from believing "Only once this thing is perfect will I be good enough." But what about feeling content before everything is perfect? Could we celebrate small accomplishments, even if the bigger goal is not met yet?

Perfectionism. That is the problem. But is it not good to be a perfectionist? Doesn't it drive us to do our best?

Most of us are taught that perfectionism is a good thing - striving for high standards and flawless results cannot be bad. But is perfectionism a positive ideal? Or is it an invisible chain holding us back from our goals?

Watch the 3-minute video on “The Perfectionist Trap”

In traditional Japanese aesthetics, Wabi-sabi is a worldview centered on the acceptance of imperfection and appreciating beauty that is “imperfect, impermanent and incomplete” in nature.

Imagine this: Michael is managing a huge IT project for an important corporate client. Determined for the launch to be perfect, he obsesses over every small process and constantly nit-picks his team's work. He can't stop thinking: "Not perfect yet...revise this...double-check that." Michael keeps delaying big milestones to fix tiny details, completely throwing off the timeline. When the go-live date finally arrives, the client is furious about all the costly delays caused by his pursuit of "perfection".

As you read that, did it feel familiar? Did you nod your head knowing you have done the same unproductive spiral yourself? That pestering voice saying "It's still not good enough"? The overwhelming need to fixate on every flaw until you are a stressed-out mess?

The truth is that behind perfectionism, there is often a hidden insecurity and intense fear of failure. We become obsessed with the idea that anything less than perfect is unacceptable. But who decided what "perfect" looks like anyway? At what point are we just wasting time chasing an illusion of perfection that doesn't really exist?

The impact of constant perfectionism affects both our work and personal lives. Like Michael, we may miss important deadlines, burn ourselves out, and frustrate clients or co-workers who value efficiency over perfection. The quality of our work can actually suffer as we lose perspective by hyper-focusing on tiny details.

At home, our impossible standards for perfect parenting, housekeeping, marriage, and more just set us up for constant disappointment, draining our ability to feel satisfied with our best efforts. Our relationships may become strained as we prioritize an intangible pursuit of perfection over being present with loved ones.

While perfectionism is often problematic, there are some contexts where it may be warranted. For example, in high-stakes fields like aviation, surgery or structural engineering, as high standards are crucial for safety. A commercial pilot operating with a "good enough" mindset could risk lives. It is important to weigh the potential pros and cons of perfectionistic tendencies in a given situation. For most of us though, in our daily personal and professional lives, embracing imperfection is a healthier approach to finding fulfillment.

So how can we manage this widespread perfection trap? By challenging our core beliefs:

- Perfect is the enemy of good. Perfectionism often prevents us from celebrating small wins along the way.

- Done is better than perfect. Adjusting our standards from perfection to "good enough for now" can restore balance.

- Everyone's definition of "perfect" is different. Whose are you trying so hard to live up to - your own unrealistic expectations or someone else's?

- Progress over perfection. Small, sustainable changes add up to major impacts over time.

Tips to assist in managing perfectionism:

- Thought journal: Write down your perfectionist thoughts. Over time, you'll identify repeating unhelpful patterns to reframe.

- Reframe thoughts: When you think in absolutes like "I'm a failure if...," practice replacing these with more flexible beliefs using phrases like "It would be better if..." or "I'll strive to..."

- Schedule breaks: Plan specific times to disengage from obsessive behaviors like over-editing. Set reminders to "release" your work at a certain point.

- Accountability buddy: Ask a friend or mentor to gently point out when you are getting trapped in the perfectionism cycle and need to re-center.

As you read this, what thoughts or doubts are popping up in your mind? Where does your perfection mindset show up and hold you back? Getting curious (not judgmental) about your core beliefs around perfectionism is key.

At the end of the day, good enough really can be good enough. Perfectionism often sells us a dream that doesn't bring lasting satisfaction. Choose to embrace your imperfectly perfect reality.

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